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Marines Underway! A hilarious story

Posted May 1st, 2013 at 09:46 AM by Hitman

You Vets will love this story! It'll be well worth the read

*WARNING* This story is from my time in the Marines. I do not speak like this anymore, or try my best not to but wrote this story exactly how I remember it at the time. So pardon me for the cursing, It's not meant to be rude, I'm sure some of it will get blocked out. It's also VERY LONG, TOO LONG for most to read so enjoy it if you read it if not, no big deal. Just felt like sharing it since this post above reminded me of it.

I remember on our MEU on the way to Afghan we stopped in Albania to do some Live Fire. (Thought I was in Louisiana) b/c of the Mud/Rain for a straight week. Of course that didn't stop training.

Anyway after a week of Live Fire they cut us loose for a night. So we come back to the ship completely inebriated of course and start to wrestle and scruff each other up. Just screwing off really. Well, anyone who knows anything about Marines knows there is always a FireWatch(Marine) over the gear. 3rd Platoon(0311's) had been picked to stand that watch so they assigned one Marine to each berthing area to watch the gear while we were out. So when we get back (0200?) and are getting into our berthing area we see the 0311 sitting at the table. His name was (We'll call him Skinner). He was also the skinniest dweeb of a Marine I'd ever seen......and he was about to get jacked up! lol

So of course we toss poor little Skinner around some. Then someone breaks out the Permanent Sharpie......and then we held him down and drew about 45 peckers all over his face and neck area. He screamed like a little girl. Someone passing by asked if we were raping someone LOL!

Anyway we eventually let him go. Well the SHTF then buddy b/c his Platoon Squad Sgt. was NOT happy and came storming down the hallway towards our area with a few other 3rd Platoon Marines. STAND TO! someone yelled in our berthing area. If you're not aware a berthing area is like a small 15' x 15' area (bottom of the ship) and the access point is the ceiling in which you climb stairs to get to. There is only 1 Manhole barely big enough to get through so it's single file in and out.

Well one of these 0311 sandbag dummies stuck his foot down there to try and kick one of us. Well that didn't work of course. lol As we yanked him down through the manhole one leg came through but the other went up and we pulled him through as he did a split ROFL! Then we held him down and tied him up and drew peckers all over him too. lol

This happen to two more 3rd Platoon Marines (including Skinners dumbass who tried to get a kick in but got caught AGAIN) until Sgt. Jones attempted to make his way down the hatch. At this point were thinking, oh man, if we do this to an NCO, a SGT no doubt, Gunny(Our Plt. Sgt) is going to kill us. Screw it, let’s get him......then we hear very loudly and over ALL the ruckus, and over every Marine there yelling and laughing we hear...... *WEAPONS!!!!!* YOU BETTER GOD_**** WELL STAND AT ATTENTION RIGHT F.ING NOW!!!!!

................With everyone's eyes wide open(in full Oh **** mode) and in accordance we replied, "Aye Gunnery Sergeant" as we SNAPPED to attention. Well as good as any Drunk Marine could snap to attention lol

Gunny then tells 3rd Platoon to get the F out his way and return to their areas. He steps down through the Berthing Area manhole and see's that we have Marines tied with 550 cord to the table….with peckers all over their faces.

He says, (and I'll never forget) "Why the F do you have a fireteam of 3rd Platoon Marines tied to the GOD_**** table with peckers drawn ALL OVER THE F.ING FACES!?!?!?

No one said a Gunny looked around at each one of us. Then, Sgt. Awesome comes down through the hatch. He immediately starts in on the tied up 3rd plt. Marines. "What the **** do you think you’re doing down here invading Weapons Platoons' area!? Who do you think you are!? they should have skinned your dumb *** alive and pissed on you! I ought Skull (#(&#” .... Gunny looks at Sgt. Awesome and tells him to "gtfo". So he does, “Aye Gunny” and leaves......... Mind you we are still standing at attention in dead silence with the 3rd Platoon Marines still tied to the table. Pretty sure one of their legs was purple and another hands was too from being tied too tight lol

(At this point we are fearing the worse. As in we are about get thrashed most likely having to put on Boots and Utes, AND our PACKS, and make our way to the Flight Deck and start Marching around in circles on the flight deck until Bob(The Sun) showed up which was about 4 hours away.)

So, he looks at the Senior Marine in the room, which was a LCPL and asks, "Is that what happen LCpl"? "Did these Marines attempt to enter this area without authorization"?

A few us replied "Aye Gunny" to which he of course said, “STFU! I didn't ask you!”

LCpl? is that what happen? "Yes Gunny" ..then nothing........

Gunny then said, "Untie these poor bastards so they can go on and lick their wounds, **** that one looks dead."

So two Marines untie them and then stand back at attention, they exit and Gunny starts up the stairs after them, towards the manhole hatch. We are STILL at Attention. He exits......Still at Attention, were not even moving our eyeballs.

Then he pokes his head though the manhole looks at us and says,
"Good FING JOB MEN!” and then pulls his head back. He’s gone.
(Our hearts SWELL with PRIDE from having our Platoon Sergeants admiration on a Job Well down. It means everything. Were thinking, **** YEA!”

(But wait were still at Attention! Do we break? At ease?)

Then we hear it……

“Now get your Fing packs on and get on the flight deck!”

SON OF A ……. “Aye Gunny”
[You see, in the Corps, the admiration/approval of your leader is more important and worthy than any punishment that might come from what you did to earn it. Us fighting together to protect our area was a good root cause, but we still did them wrong and initiated the entire situation leading to the end result. So, while we were giving a good job and a pat on the back, our transgressions, still had to be paid for. So, we Marched til dawn.]

.....sigh.....I don't regret a thing
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  1. Old Comment
    LaFinest's Avatar
    KMSL...thats funny
    Posted June 23rd, 2013 at 07:59 AM by LaFinest LaFinest is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Cajun Executioner's Avatar
    LMAO. Good story!
    Posted September 9th, 2013 at 10:58 PM by Cajun Executioner Cajun Executioner is offline

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